Question
My husband has a habit of reading my messages on my phone. It’s not that I have anything to hide from him but my mother has personal problems which she sometimes tells me about in her messages in confidence as she does not have anyone else that she can talk to which he then reads about and is always getting the wrong idea. He never tells me that he has read my messages so I am not even aware. However this time I saw him doing it and then he brought up other conversations which he read. How should I address this?
Answer
If the husband has strong and valid reasons to suspect his wife of infidelity, then it is permissible for him to read her messages or her letters. However, if the grounds for suspicion are not strong enough, or merely based on hearsay, then it is not permissible for him to do so. Likewise, if he intends to spy on her for reasons other than suspected infidelity, then too, it is haraam for him to read her personal letters and messages.
You should approach him directly but decently and make it known that you are aware of this act of his and that you do not appreciate him doing so. Personal messages between you and your mother are confidential. Perhaps he will take heed and stop this habit.
Allah knows best
Mufti Siraj Desai